Hilarious Response,

Shino-san,

You’re lucky I was too busy to reply yesterday. I let fly numerous and varying expletives upon learning that the festivities were continuing without me. This was contrary to my beliefs on how the world operates and even the thought of being on a white sand beach in the Caribbean wasn’t enough to console me.

Joking aside, I would recommend not spending any more than $20 on entertainment for Mark so perhaps a hot dog and those ‘conversation bars’ along Crenshaw would be just right… This would free up time, resources, liver capacity, etc. for the REAL festivities when I partake, perhaps, in January.

Please also teach Mark some survival phrases such as “Watashi no sakana no nioi ga subarashii” or “Kiotsukete! Samui toki watashi no chikubi wa abunai.”. You never know, he could break free of his kiddie leash, run into traffic, and then be wandering Torrance with no way of communicating with the locals.

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